Individual Therapy with Mark at Koira Psychology
Helping you to find solutions to the deeper problems in your life through therapy
“Seeking guidance is a sign that you need help. We humans are social animals. Our strength is in our ability to work together and collaborate. If you could fix that problem alone, it would already be fixed”
Therapy is a space to slow down, reflect, and make sense of your life. We explore your emotions, relationships, past experiences and life lessons, fears and hopes, values, and current experiences.
My therapy is grounded in Stoic, Existential, Evolutionary, Psychodynamic, and Adlerian Psychology, helping you live in harmony with your nature and build a meaningful, connected life.
Therapy is the opening for understanding and accepting yourself.
What we work on in Therapy
My therapy helps people work with problems that humans have faced throughout history, such as fear, loss, belonging, meaning, responsibility, while also addressing newer struggles created by our mismatch with modern life. Many clients feel overwhelmed, disconnected, or stuck not because they have a disorder or are broken, but because their minds and physical systems evolved for a very different social and environmental world. Together, we explore how these timeless human challenges are causing you difficulties, helping you understand yourself more clearly, accept the realities of your life, and respond in ways that are more grounded and aligned with how humans are actually evolved to live.
Common Goals in Therapy
Stoic Goals in Therapy
Practice fairness and accept the consequences of your actions
Allowing happiness and seeking contentment
Practice honest self-reflection and honest communication
Accept life as it is, not how it ‘should’ be
Accepting uncertainty and doubt (being ok with what you cannot know)
Acting with commitment and sacrifice in love
Living within your means and being content with what you have
Psychodynamic Goals in Therapy
Allowing and accepting emotions
Learn to regulate elevated anxiety
Find out how the pain in your past shaped how you protect yourself today
Having respectful disagreement and allowing separate minds
Living within the limits of control and influence on others
Knowing the difference between anger (emotion) and aggression (behaviour)
Existential Goals in Therapy
Balancing responsibility and freedom (we need both autonomy and connection)
Accepting mortality and loss (as nothing lasts forever)
Finding your story around meaning and purpose
Adlerian Goals in Therapy
Facing fear and finding courage
Accepting difference and seeking equality
Adopting healthy boundaries in relationships
Staying connected and hopeful
Holding realistic expectations of yourself and others
Caring about yourself in the way you care about the ones you love
Increase social and community connection
The Clients I work with
The people who come to me seeking therapy often say they feel stuck, overly anxious, or disconnected from themselves, or others, or the world around them. Many of my clients have tried more conventional therapies to try and solve their problems, such as CBT, ACT, DBT, or EMDR. While these approaches may have helped reduce some symptoms, they often tell me that the core problem still remains. In their case, these therapy approaches did not address the deeper causes of their difficulties or help them understand why they feel and act the way they do.
The people that come to therapy are curious, reflective, and trying to face life’s challenges honestly. They want to make sense of their emotional reactions, understand the patterns in their relationships and family dynamics, build resilience and inner strength to get through lifes’s challenges, navigate the uncertainty and mysteries they face, and connect more authentically with themselves and others. They are seeking meaning, purpose, balance, security, and contentment in their lives, and want to heal from their past experiences without being controlled by them.
What I do not offer in Therapy
My practice is adult therapy focused, and there are some services I do not provide. I do not offer court or legal reports or letters, formal diagnostic reports, or diagnosis-driven structured treatment programs (such as ‘DBT for Borderline Personality Disorder’). I do not provide mindfulness-based therapies, supportive counselling, or therapy focused on changing or fixing another person in your life. I also do not work with children or adolescents, nor do I offer Couples Therapy (Jerodine provides Couples Therapy at Koira Psychology).
My Approach to Therapy
Many times in my life I have felt stuck, unable to find a solution to the problems that appeared. No matter what I thought or tried, nothing was fixing these problems. I had no solution.
It was only through ‘new eyes’ and ‘fresh input’ that I had any success with these problems. Some things in my life could not be fixed by working alone. I needed help from someone who could see what I could not see, and think what I could not think.
If you currently feel stuck and need a new approach, then Therapy might be the help you need.
I can work with you to analyse your problems and internal conflicts, and identify possible solutions. My goal is to help you find new insight and fresh approaches. These approaches are hopefully based in reality, and reflect what is achievable.
I cannot guarantee any perfect solutions or amazing outcomes, as most of the time in life, this is not possible. My aim is simply for better and sustainable.
Seeking help when it is needed is the key.
“The secret of happiness, you see, is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less”
Socrates
Some examples of how Therapy can help you to resolve your deeper problems in life
-
We humans are wired to be connected and to belong. When we lack connection, we experience fear and anxiety. How do you maintain connection in our world without being overwhelmed with anxiety and fear?
-
No human can avoid feeling the pain in life. Happiness and sadness are both natural and temporary emotions. Can I accept all my emotions and the pain life brings?
-
Most of our problems are internal, and are produced by conflicting inner desires and drives. How do I resolve this inner conflict so I can have peace of mind?
-
Most conflict between people is brought on by poor communication and not acknowledging our different needs. How can you better communicate and work with others to resolve conflicts where both sides can benefit?
-
When we struggle to find meaning and purpose in life, we typically experience fear and anxiety. To reduce these feelings we either disconnect from the world and ourselves, or distract ourselves by staying busy and pursuing obsessive goals. How do we deal with this problem without having to disconnect?
-
Motivation and purpose is strongly connected to your will. When you are not connected to your will, you will look to follow the will of others, or lack motivation and drive. How can you connect with your will?
-
Sometimes we believe our fantasy/imagination is real. However, as we live in the real world, this leads to problems in our life when our fantasies do not match our reality. How can we let go of our fantasies and accept what is real?
-
You cannot do everything alone. You also cannot know everything. Can you accept these limitations, let go of what you cannot control, and ask for help when you need it?
-
The past cannot be changed. Neither can this moment. But the immediate future can be different. How can I accept my past and present so I can focus on my next reaction?
-
We often get caught doing things for others that they should do for themselves. At times, we don’t step up and accept what we are responsible for. What is your job/task? What are your responsible for?
-
We are at our best when we can think and feel at the same time. Being all emotions is not helpful, nor is having all thoughts and no emotions. How can you be connected to your feelings and thoughts at the same time?
-
Change is most effective when we focus on small changes to everyday situations. Small improvements over time are more helpful than big changes. How can you form new daily habits and rituals to make lasting change?
-
One key does not fit all locks. When we get stuck, we typically are using an approach that is ineffective but one we are comfortable using. How can you adopt a new, more effective approach?
The Thinking Space
“It is difficult to find happiness within oneself, but it is impossible to find it anywhere else.”
Arthur Schopenhauer
