Superiority and Self-Worth
“There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.”
Ernest Hemingway
As human beings, we naturally look sideways. We observe our peers, our siblings, colleagues, friends, and even our parents. And from these observations, we form impressions, sometimes subtle, sometimes harsh, about where we stand. These comparisons often become a yardstick for self-worth.
From a psychological perspective, this is understandable. Comparison is a universal psychological process; it helps us orient ourselves in the social and material world. Yet it can also become a trap. When we measure ourselves against others, we’re often comparing lives that cannot meaningfully and realistically be compared. Each person carries a unique mix of genetics, experiences, hardships, fortune, wounds, and dreams. No two journeys are ever the same.
Because of this, most comparisons are inherently uneven and unfair. They can lift us up artificially, such as“I’m doing better than him, so I must be okay”, or they can diminish us, like“She has more than I do; therefore something must be wrong with me.” In either direction, the result is fragile. We become dependent on an ever-shifting external measurement system.
Hemingway’s observation invites a different possibility:
What if the more meaningful comparison is with who we were yesterday, last year, or even ten years ago?
From an open psychological lens, this shift isn’t about eliminating comparison altogether. Instead, it’s about gradually turning some of that attention inward, toward the small but real markers of personal growth:
Am I responding to stress differently than I used to?
Have I learned something new about myself?
Am I showing up with slightly more honesty, compassion, or courage?
Is there a habit, belief, or pattern I’m gently loosening my grip on?
These kinds of questions move us away from superiority and inferiority and into self-awareness. They allow space for nuance, for the messy and nonlinear nature of human development. They also highlight the reality that growth does not always look like progress; sometimes it looks like slowing down, pausing, or unlearning.
If you find that comparisons often shape your mood, your confidence, or your sense of identity, Individual Therapy can offer a place to explore this without judgment. Therapy can help you understand where these comparisons come from, what they protect, what they trigger, and how your self-worth can be grounded less in external measurement and more in an evolving relationship with yourself.
Self-worth doesn’t need to be proven. It can be found through reflection, curiosity, and acceptance.
