Why we feel anxious in relationships

As Jon Frederickson writes, “To survive, animals must avoid predators; humans must avoid loss of relationships.” From birth, our safety depends on connection. John Bowlby showed that secure early relationships teach us we are safe and loved, while inconsistent or distant ones teach us to fear abandonment.

When our early bonds feel unsafe, our bodies learn to associate disconnection with danger. As adults, even small moments of distance, such as a partner’s silence or a friend’s withdrawal, can trigger anxiety. In response, we might cling, argue, or shut down to protect ourselves from losing closeness.

Therapy helps uncover these old survival patterns and calm the part of us that still fears rejection. Through safe relationships, we learn that love and security can coexist, and that connection no longer has to feel threatening and dangerous.

Click on this link, The Roots of Our Relationship Anxiety to read more about anxiety and relationships

If you need help with anxiety brought on by relationships, Individual Therapy and Couple Therapy may be the help you need