Therapy can help you heal

"To survive, animals must avoid predators; humans must avoid loss of relationships"

"Many animals live independently when only a few weeks old. We, however, cannot. Children rely on others to survive. Therefore, any feeling threatening the safety of our primary relationship endangers our survival, triggering anxiety"

Jon Frederickson

Research has found conclusive evidence that our early childhood relationships shape how we relate to others as adults. Strong and nurturing relationships in childhood build a sense of inner security and confidence. Distant and chaotic early relationships build fear and mistrust inside of us. We need connection and belonging to thrive.

Children experiencing relationship stress react by developing coping strategies such as withdrawal and avoidance, aggression and rebellion, people-pleasing, and disassociation. These strategies are necessary for the child to maintain relationships and calm parents, avoid pain and punishment, and maintain some sense of protection and independence. Unfortunately, as adults, we continue to use these strategies when we experience conflict in a relationship and feel disconnected from our community.

Therapy can specifically target our use of these childhood coping strategies that continue to hurt us, and stop us from being connected.