In therapy, we often see couples struggling with the idea that love should be effortless. But Erich Fromm’s book The Art of Loving teaches us that love is not just a feeling, it’s a skill we must learn and practice.

If you and your partner are feeling disconnected, stuck, or unsure how to move forward, couples therapy can help you slow things down and reconnect in a meaningful way.

Many couples unknowingly become trapped in the ‘drama triangle’, shifting between the roles of rescuer, perpetrator, and victim. Each role reinforces the other, creating cycles of blame, defensiveness, and disconnection.

In the context of couples counselling, a recurring dynamic is the confusion of love with responsibility. When partners merge their emotional and practical obligations, the relationship often suffers from enmeshment, replacing authentic connection with a structure driven by anxiety and control.

As a couples therapist, one of the most common and subtle forms of relationship dysfunction I encounter is enmeshment. It is often mistaken for closeness or deep family loyalty, but Dr. Patricia Love, through her work on families and relationships has clearly illuminated the difference between enmeshment and healthy family belonging.

Conflict happens, but repair is the key to lasting love. As a relationship psychologist, I recommend Jane Hurley's Feedback Wheel to heal disconnection.

Adlerian therapist Rudolf Dreikurs taught that marriage isn't a battle for control, but a cooperative effort between equals.