The Secret Burden: Dyslexia, Shame, and Self-Acceptance

As a psychologist, I’ve seen the profound, lifelong affect that dyslexia has on my clients. It is hard enough having difficulty reading in our modern world. If you add to this the burden of shame and secrecy, Dyslexia becomes a cause of significant emotion suffering, and can lead to a loss of self-acceptance. Dyslexia is essentially a neurodevelopmental difference, not a measure of intelligence or character, yet for most who have dyslexia, their struggles in our school system feel like personal failure.

The Root of the Shame in School

In a world that equates literacy with intelligence, the classroom can become a place of silent suffering for a student with dyslexia. When a child consistently stumbles while reading aloud or produces work riddled with spelling errors, they frequently internalize the painful narrative that they are "stupid" or "lazy”. To cope, children become masters of masking their dyslexia. They will avoid reading, act out to distract from assignments, or refuse to participate. This habit of hiding their difficulties is emotionally exhausting and only reinforces the idea that their struggle is a shameful secret that must be protected.

This shame doesn't disappear as you leave school; it follows people into adulthood, influencing career choices, social interactions, and self-worth for decades.

The life of Jackie Stewart

The life of racecar driver and businessman Jackie Stewart serves as a well known example of the negative impact of undiagnosed dyslexia and the positive development of strengths through adaptation.

As a child he was routinely called "thick" and "dumb" by teachers. This experience so deeply affected his identity that he left school with no qualifications, believing he was academically inept. Over time he developed a remarkable ability to adapt around his dyslexia, developing skills that were not affected by his dyslexia, and finding different methods to complete tasks.

Stewart attributes his success in racing to leveraging the strengths he developed due to his dyselxia, such as mechanical knowledge, exceptional spatial awareness and rapid visual processing skills, and strong determination to succeed. But even when he was at the pinnacle of his sport as multiple world champion, his fear of exposure and being shame remained constant. If we fail to recognise and normalise dyslexia in our education system, we allow individuals born with dyslexia to suffer unnecessarily, and struggle with lack of self-acceptance.

For a more detailed look at the effects of dyslexia on emotional development, academic stress, shame, and identity, you can read the longer article: Understanding Dyslexia: A Journey of Challenges and Strengths