Alfred Adler

Alfred Adler: The Psychology of Courage and Connection

As a psychotherapist, I often find myself returning to the ideas of Alfred Adler, not just because of their historical significance in psychological practice, but because they still shape the very essence of how we understand human relationships and change. Born in Vienna in 1870, Adler began his career as a physician before joining Freud’s early psychoanalytic circle. Yet, he soon grew uncomfortable with Freud’s focus on unconscious drives and sexuality as the primary forces of human motivation.

Where Freud saw behaviour as determined by the past, Adler saw it as directed toward the future. Adler believed that people are not passive victims of childhood experience but active creators of meaning.

Breaking from Freud: From Drives to Purpose

Adler’s break from Freud was more than theoretical; it was philosophical. Freud’s worldview placed the unconscious and internal conflict at the centre of human psychology. Adler, however, viewed the person as a purposeful and social being, whose problems could only be understood in the context of relationships and community.

He believed that all behaviour has a teleological function, that is, it serves a goal, even if the goal is unconscious. A child who becomes defiant, for example, may not be “resisting authority” in Freudian terms but striving for belonging or significance in an environment where they feel small or powerless.

This emphasis on purpose and meaning, rather than pathology, marked the birth of Individual Psychology (Adlerian Psychology), and it continues to inform contemporary therapeutic practice, from cognitive-behavioural approaches to humanistic and narrative therapies.

The Courage to Be Disliked

Adler’s philosophy inspired the bestselling book The Courage to Be Disliked (by Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga), which uses a modern Socratic dialogue between a philosopher and a young man. At its core, the message is that freedom and happiness require the courage to live according to one’s own values, not in pursuit of others’ approval.

In therapy, this principle comes alive when clients begin to detach their self-worth from external validation. Adler believed that many psychological struggles, such as anxiety, resentment, and people-pleasing, arise from the mistaken belief that our value depends on how others see us. The “courage to be disliked” means accepting responsibility for one’s own life and living authentically, even when it risks disapproval.

Social Interest and Connection

Despite his emphasis on individual courage, Adler never lost sight of our social nature. He coined the term social interest (Gemeinschaftsgefühl), referring to our innate capacity to care for others and contribute to society. For Adler, mental health was not self-focus and self-esteem, but cooperation, empathy, and belonging. To be psychologically healthy is to feel part of something larger than oneself.

In today’s world of loneliness, competition, and disconnection, Adler’s insistence on social interest is very important. Much of therapy today, from group therapy to community mental health and systemic approaches, carries his influence in helping people rediscover connection and purpose.

Why Adler Still Matters

Adler’s ideas were revolutionary in his time and remain profoundly relevant. He believed humans are not driven merely by instinct or trauma but by choice, purpose, and social belonging. As a therapist, I often see clients trapped between the need for approval and the longing for authenticity. Adler’s perspective reminds us that growth requires courage, the courage to be imperfect, to risk disapproval, and to live meaningfully in connection with others. If you are struggling with comparison, enmeshment, and disconnection, his message is: we are not determined by what happens to us, but by the meaning we give it, and the direction we choose to move.